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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

MCAT Meow Meow Meph-Head Madness

My experience of MCAT.

September 2009 - Tried one line at a party, loved it! Could still eat, sleep, had a mint buzz and no comedown!

October 2009 - Beginning to use every weekend with a group of friends including my boyfriend. Had one bad experience where I had a massive rush, couldnt handle it and started panicking. 20 minutes later I was fine though, and carried on using it.

December 2009 - Began to use it more frequently, using 2-3 grams every few days. Starting to feel depressed all the time, staying up for days on end, not eating (went down to 6.2 stone). I also started to have terrible rows with my boyfriend. I knew I was addicted by this point, but would refuse to acknowledge it.

January 2010 - By this point I was using it everyday. My face sunk and became gaunt. You could see all my bones, my face became pale. I wasn't eating hardly at all and when I did eat, I could only manage tiny portions. I could not fall asleep without having a spliff to bring me down. I was getting through about £60 - £80 a week on it and at £10 - £20 per gram.. thats way too much. I started to self harm and began slitting my wrists when I was coming down off the drug

February 2010 - Still using every other day, although slowly I started to bring myself off it.. My weight started to come back and I was feeling better. Although mid-Feb i relapsed after a terrible argument with my boyfriend and went on a bender for a few days.

March 2010 - Still using the drug, but not half as much as I used to. Lots of MCAT stories are now appearing in the news after the deaths of two boys after they took the drug. Doesn't scare me though.. because when you actually read into the stories you find out that it isn't MCAT that killed them.. They were also drinking (very bad idea) and took methadone (what heroin addicts take to wean themselves off heroin) to come down. Taking one drug is one things, but mixing a cocktail of drugs whilst drinking alcohol? that's just stupid ( I know I can't really talk.)
I haven't had one drink of alcohol since September 09, and I don't take any other drugs (apart from occasionally smoking weed) so the only way I'm abusing me is through meow.
I don't plan to cut it completely out as I'm now learning about control. Now and again is fine I think.. but constantly nailing it like I was, I was basically killing myself.

I wanted to write this because the lack of evidence and reports on Mephedrone is shocking. This drug is very VERY dangerous and the fact that 10 year old kids are taking it is just ridiculous. It reminds me of heroin (I've never taken it) because of how addictive it is. I've heard of people (mostly girls) sobbing their hearts out at 5am, not being able to sleep because they NEED 'just one more line'. Now these girls come from respectable families, they aren't council estate chavvy scum who have nothing better to do.
At one party I went to, there was a primary school TEACHER off her head on drone, crabbing and gurning her bag off on the floor.
*crabbing - having spasms in parts of your body and quick movements of your hands (a bit like when a crab clicks his pincers).. it happens when you're on upper drugs like pills, speed and mcat.*

Effects of meow meow:
  • Gurning,
  • Chatterting teeth,
  • Biting your lips constantly and tearing them.
  • Biting your nails till they bleed,
  • Constant talking
  • Looking around the room all the time
  • When you try to find something you can be looking for 4-5 hours straight and still be totally focused on finding something.
  • Euphoria
  • Feeling really happy
  • Loving everybody in the room
  • Paranoia
  • Hallucinations (one time I was absolutely convinced rats were running across the walls when i was trying to sleep. I had to go and sit in the living room for ten minutes to calm myself down because I was really panicking.)
  • Being gormed out to fuck.
The really bad parts in my experience.
  • Depression
  • Self harming
  • Really scabby nose
  • Really bad couging, bringing up lots of phlegm the next day
  • Purple knees, elbows and knuckles
  • Heart palpitations
  • Dreadful paranoia.
To anyone who reads this, don't immediately write me off as a drug addict. I am slowly but surely getting myself off this drug and have no qualms about seeking professional help if I think I can't do it on my own. My sister was a heroin addict and she died, so I know how badly drugs can affect people lives.
If you would like to comment or have any questions about anything I wrote in this blog, PLEASE don't hesistate to ask me anything. I hope to god no one goes through what I went through a few months ago.. and if you have never tried MCAT.. Don't even have the first line.. you could of just given yourself a life sentence.

Thanks for reading,